I guess yesterday was the saddest day of my life.
It all begins when im chatting Lawrance , and i accidently said something terrible to him. I regretted teribbly. Then i really didnt know wud to do coz he isnt replying me , so i asked Cassie for some advices. She said i should call him. I was thinking , we both never called each other before , only smses. Cassie said it means a lot. So , i listened to her and decided to call. But , he rejected my call. When i heard the tone , my tears immediatly flow. It feels like .. as if he's hiding something from me. I immediatly send him one sms , full of apologies.
When i check my msn , he said he was ok , just dota-ing. But that entire evening , i wasnt really in the mood to talk. I totally ignored him. And as i was having dinner , something came across my mind. I wanna let him go. Right after dinner , i told Cassie wud was in my mind. She said i would miss him dearly if i did since we both were so close. She didnt give me much advices coz she dont know him well enough. She even doubted that he was hiding lots of things from me. I agreed , he did. Cassie asked me to tell him my doubts , and so i did.
(9:22 PM) .∙´¯`∙-ღ• ℓιℓαηg: i .. wanna ask u something
(9:26 PM) รักเพชณฆาตพ™: bout wud?
(9:27 PM) รักเพชณฆาตพ™: im afraid to answer u
(9:27 PM) .∙´¯`∙-ღ• ℓιℓαηg: just a simple question
(9:28 PM) รักเพชณฆาตพ™: simple as yes or no then i answer lo
(9:28 PM) .∙´¯`∙-ღ• ℓιℓαηg: similar
(9:29 PM) รักเพชณฆาตพ™: if u got question just ask, y make it so diff
(9:29 PM) รักเพชณฆาตพ™: i doubt something
(9:29 PM) .∙´¯`∙-ღ• ℓιℓαηg: so did i
(9:30 PM) .∙´¯`∙-ღ• ℓιℓαηg: i just wanna know , have u ever thought of meeting me up in real life?
(9:30 PM) รักเพชณฆาตพ™: nope
(9:31 PM) .∙´¯`∙-ღ• ℓιℓαηg: same reason for being reluctant when i asked for your number?
(9:32 PM) .∙´¯`∙-ღ• ℓιℓαηg: u never planned to take this relationship seriously?
(9:34 PM) .∙´¯`∙-ღ• ℓιℓαηg: so all the while , im just being a fool
(9:37 PM) รักเพชณฆาตพ™: not a fool
(9:37 PM) รักเพชณฆาตพ™: i dunno wud i want actually
(9:38 PM) .∙´¯`∙-ღ• ℓιℓαηg: if u know this would have happen , why wouldnt u let me go earlier?"
(9:40 PM) รักเพชณฆาตพ™: pls dun force me
(9:41 PM) .∙´¯`∙-ღ• ℓιℓαηg: ok then
(9:41 PM) รักเพชณฆาตพ™: no
(9:41 PM) .∙´¯`∙-ღ• ℓιℓαηg: i dont force u
(9:41 PM) รักเพชณฆาตพ™: nono
(9:41 PM) .∙´¯`∙-ღ• ℓιℓαηg: just let me go
(9:41 PM) รักเพชณฆาตพ™: ok sry
(9:42 PM) รักเพชณฆาตพ™: not force
(9:42 PM) รักเพชณฆาตพ™: i dunno how to describe myself
mayb im selfish
(9:43 PM) .∙´¯`∙-ღ• ℓιℓαηg: u do know i took this seriously
and yet u continued letting me?
(9:43 PM) รักเพชณฆาตพ™: i letting u go b4
(9:44 PM) รักเพชณฆาตพ™: twice
(9:44 PM) .∙´¯`∙-ღ• ℓιℓαηg: but u changed ur mind at last
i thought u loved me for real
(9:44 PM) รักเพชณฆาตพ™: i am!
(9:45 PM) .∙´¯`∙-ღ• ℓιℓαηg: i doubt it
(9:46 PM) .∙´¯`∙-ღ• ℓιℓαηg: if u loved me for real , but u never took this relationship seriously
wud's the point?!
(9:47 PM) รักเพชณฆาตพ™: at 1st i tot we only in game couples
(9:48 PM) รักเพชณฆาตพ™: but after seeing day by day.. and i love u more
(9:49 PM) รักเพชณฆาตพ™: but in my mind u always remain my on9 dear
(9:49 PM) รักเพชณฆาตพ™: so i said i dunno wud i want
im sorry!
(9:50 PM) .∙´¯`∙-ღ• ℓιℓαηg: perhaps we should be normal friends
since u dont know wud u want
(9:55 PM) รักเพชณฆาตพ™: i dont want!
(9:56 PM) .∙´¯`∙-ღ• ℓιℓαηg: u will have ur girlfriend someday
why bother keeping me?
(9:58 PM) รักเพชณฆาตพ™: izzit some guy after u
(9:58 PM) .∙´¯`∙-ღ• ℓιℓαηg: i rejected them for u
(9:58 PM) .∙´¯`∙-ღ• ℓιℓαηg: but looks like im just making a fool of myself
(10:25 PM) รักเพชณฆาตพ™: i
am
sorry
(10:26 PM) .∙´¯`∙-ღ• ℓιℓαηg: just let me go
(10:26 PM) รักเพชณฆาตพ™: u 'sei sum' to me edi?
(10:27 PM) .∙´¯`∙-ღ• ℓιℓαηg: after hearing how u really felt , yes
(10:28 PM) รักเพชณฆาตพ™: but im not!
(10:29 PM) .∙´¯`∙-ღ• ℓιℓαηg: u'll just have to get over it
(10:30 PM) รักเพชณฆาตพ™: do u hate me
(10:31 PM) .∙´¯`∙-ღ• ℓιℓαηg: i still love u as much as i used to
but i just dont want to be dissapointed again
(10:51 PM) รักเพชณฆาตพ™: sei sum and still love is totally opposite meaning
(10:52 PM) .∙´¯`∙-ღ• ℓιℓαηg: no diff to me
At first , i never thought of taking game couples for real. But as he said , after facing each other day by day , i realized i really am in love. A love story that will never have a happy ending.
And finally , i'ved decided to remain as friends. Or best friends. I thought im gonna take weeks to recover , but after deciding this , i felt a lot better.
Call me dumb , for falling onto him like this.
LilAngie
xoxo